This week I read an article entitled the Top Six Child Discipline Techniques to Try. Before getting into the techniques, let’s look at the word, discipline. The root word of discipline is disciple. A disciple is a student; therefore, to discipline is to teach. This is in sharp contrast to punish. A punishment is meant to inflict pain and harm. A discipline is meant to change behavior and learn from mistakes.
That’s not to say that discipline is enjoyable. The Bible mentions discipline over 25 times, and even states that is not pleasant (Heb 12:11). However, with many lessons, the teaching (and learning) produces fruit.
Here are the tips from the article:
1. Practice Consistency. Of course not all rules (and consequences) apply to all situations so being 100% consistent is impossible. However, it’s important try our best to enforce consistent rules, goals and approaches. This is especially important as more people are responsible for discipline – parents, child care providers, teachers. Communicate with these people to be sure common practices are in place.
2. Seek the Why. Your child ever thrown something across the room or broken something out of frustration? Mine has (my youngest isn’t quite there yet, but he will be…soon). Before rushing to a decision, it helps to investigate the motive behind the action. The motive can certainly determine how the situation is handled.
3. Avoid Power Battles. The parent is the parent. Sometimes, “Because I said so” is all that is needed. Some issues aren’t worth a battle and are more easily passed over. When a line is drawn between two sides, though, there’s always a winner and a loser. It’s imperative the parent “wins”. Allowing the child to win presents mixed signals and weakens the consistency of practice.
4. Praise Good Behavior. It’s often too easy to focus on the negative – especially after a long day at work. Emphasizing positive behavior shows children good behavior is rewarded. Simple gestures like hugs, high fives, or even a smile can show your affection and pride for your child.
5. Keep Your Cool. I didn’t always understand as a child why my parents told me “go to your room”. A cooling down period is often necessary. Emotion – especially anger – can cause us to say and do things we’d otherwise not condone. It also sets a positive example for your child on how to resolve conflict.
6. Seek Supporters. If a strategy is working at home, share that with the teacher. On the opposite side, it’s helpful to match what’s being done at school with home strategies. Parents and teachers work as partners to educate and train children – discipline is no exception.
